Family Constellation Work uncovers and releases unconscious ancestral entanglements to intergenerational suffering in our family soul. My unique style of working brings forward complete ancestral soul transformation by working 6 main Movements of the Family Soul including: The Orders of Love, The Big/Little dynamic, Interrupted Reaching Out, Seeing and Being Seen, Victim/Perpetrator/Rescuer and Life’s Embrace.
In this blog, I’ll talk about movements 3 & 4: Interrupted Reaching Out and Seeing and Being Seen to open up your receiving channels so you can allow abundance in and step out into the world to unlock and achieve your life’s purpose. I’ll also cover the ancestral archetypical characteristics associated with love, connection, liberation, power and mastery.
I’ll cover the core limiting and empowering set of beliefs that must also be revised in order to sustain family soul transformation. And then close with a guided meditation to heal your ancestral past to open up to receive abundance in all forms.
You can also listen to the companion podcast to listen to the guided meditation below.
Ancestral archetypes are based on standard patterns in the collective consciousness that transcend the individual experience and create unconscious connections. Knowing yours helps bring a deeper understanding of how you’re wired, allowing for more compassion and self-love. It can also serve as a guide for where to focus your personal growth intentions.
When ancestral entanglements are present, the ancestral archetypes that run will be more of the shadow aspects trying to create conflict, drama, tragedy and failure. When we release the ancestral entanglements we can access the illuminated characteristics of the ancestral archetypes such as abundance, joy, harmony, support, connection and love.
Ancestral entanglements form across the collective family energy called the Family Soul. Your family soul dynamics create unconscious patterning that shapes behaviours, interactions and life experiences. If there are a lot of exclusions, secrets, guilts, shame or traumas in your ancestral past, the flow of life through the family soul will repeat these same sufferings so that we may stay innocent, belonging and alive. This is because our primal survival instincts are interwoven with our deep need to belong to our family by becoming entangled with our ancestral pain.
Family Constellation work in the tradition of Bert Hellinger is one of the most powerful healing modalities I’ve ever come across. It changed my life in so many amazing ways and am continually inspired in my work seeing so many people’s lives changed for the better.
One of my favourite aspects of this systemic practice is that it strives to bring wholeness and completion to the family soul rather than trying to cut ties. This aligns strongly with my philosophy of life that we are all one, part of the experience of unity consciousness and when we can come back home in this knowing our only purpose in life become to be the fullest expression of the divine as possible.
The first 2 movements, Orders of Love and Big/Little Dynamic are the starting points as they are present underneath every ancestral entanglement and working with them is the foundation of releasing the burden you carry for your ancestral past.
The next 2 movements Interrupted Reaching Out and Seeing and Being Seen allow for you to elevate your soul to a level where you can receive, be seen and allow life to flow through you fully bringing with it abundance in all forms: health, finances, relationship, family and work.
Interrupted Reaching Out (IRO) is the ancestral archetype associated with love and connection.
It is a movement that happens between mother and child. The idea is that when the child is born and separated from the mother’s body, the child’s soul reaches for the mother’s soul and the mother’s soul meets that reach with an embrace that solidifies the child’s experience of support and belonging.
However, if the mother is caught up in her own ancestral entanglements, has lost children, is not standing in her appropriate place with appropriate bigness, or if there was a physical separation at birth there is not enough of the mother’s soul present to meet the child’s reach.
Eventually, the child stops reaching, thus the name interrupted reaching out. This closes down a person’s ability to be open to receive love, relationship, health, money, support, and all the good things in life. Instead what’s left is feeling stuck, sick, broke, unloved, disconnected and unhappy.
When IRO is present in the system, the shadow aspects of this ancestral archetype include difficulty connecting with others, the inability to receive love, diminished health, difficulty in getting clarity, feeling alone, and a sense of being stuck or blocked when trying to move forward.
Examples of limiting beliefs that generally run with these shadow characteristics of the ancestral archetype are: I am unloveable, I don’t deserve to receive, I must be self-sufficient to survive, Support is not available for me, I’m not good enough to have healthy connections, I am unable to be healthy.
There are several ways to work this movement depending on the format being used. In the traditional group format, as a facilitator, I will work to heal the IRO movement by having the child and mother reach for each other and move into an embrace. Remember, This movement will only be available if mother and child are in their appropriate places and big or littleness.
In the traditional group format where participants stand in as representatives for members of the family soul and the facilitator uses words and movements to restore harmony to the family soul.
We allow the IRO movement to be healed by having the child and mother reach for each other and move into an embrace. Remember, This movement will only be available if mother and child are in their appropriate places and big or littleness.
Sometimes, if the IRO is generations deep we must work the IRO movement between the mother and grandmother of the client before it can be available downstream.
In 1:1 or self-help situations, I work to connect the higher soul self of mother and child. The higher self that is free of pain, suffering and traumatic life stories. This establishes a heart connection between child and mother that allows for the pure life force energy that carries love, connection, and support to be restored forever.
This allows the illuminated aspects of this ancestral archetype to shine through such as self-love, feeling supported in all situations, a healthy ability to connect with others, and feeling safe with intimacy.
The empowering beliefs associated with a healed IRO pattern are: I am loved and supported in all that I do. I am open to receiving full health. Through receiving I will thrive. I deserve to receive support. I am open to receiving love. I deserve abundance in all forms. I am fully supported in making my dreams come true.
The next movement of the family soul Seeing and Being Seen allows for the soul self to be witnessed in a way that allows for stepping fully into the world and expressing one’s divine purpose.
Seeing and Being Seen is the ancestral archetype associated with liberation, power and mastery. This movement activates the power of being witnessed fully by your ancestors fully so that you may step into the spotlight, embody your purpose and leave your mark on life. This movement only takes a moment, but is so powerful in its application I never miss an opportunity to bring this into any family constellation I facilitate.
If you’ve ever done eye gazing exercises in the workshops it’s along the line of that. How do you see someone and how do you receive their gaze? When we are seen by our family soul in our appropriate place, in our appropriate littleness, with our ability to receive healthily open, it allows us to embody our soul self to receive life force energies fully.
When ancestral entanglements disrupt a healthy seeing and being seen movement, the shadow aspects of the ancestral archetype are: feeling unheard, unseen and disrespected. Being afraid to step out and be seen for who you are and what you do. Feeling the need to hide. Lacking self-confidence. Often looked over for jobs, promotions or invitations. Difficulty in getting clarity in purpose in life.
The limiting beliefs associated with the shadow aspects of the Seeing and Being Seen ancestral archetype are: It is not safe for others to see me. If I put myself out there I will be attacked. Imposter syndrome of I will be found out as a fraud and my life will be destroyed.
To heal this movement there is an acknowledgement from your ancestors that allows you to be seen for who you truly are. Free from suffering, trauma, burdens and drama. This allows you to embody your spirit fully and step into the world with confidence, grace and safety.
In a Family Constellation, I work this movement through eye gazing and having the ancestors speak the words “It’s nice to see you”. This gets you half of the way because I’ve observed the presence of the greatest loving energies when the person allows themselves to be seen. It activates a place of safety and vulnerability with a huge presence of love that elevates the soul out of the muck.
When this dynamic is opened in equanimity, the illuminated ancestral archetype characteristics are: having clarity on your purpose in life, feeling safe when attention is on you, feeling like you’re in the flow of life, having the confidence to show others who you are, and the ability to be seen for your experience, knowledge and expertise.
The empowering beliefs associated with this archetype are: It is safe to be seen by others, Sharing my gifts with others is important to the world, I can fully appreciate my expertise and knowledge, I deserve healthy and supportive attention, through being seen I can achieve my life’s goals.
Next week I’ll round out the 6 movements of the family soul to talk about the Victim/Perpetrator/Rescuer dynamic and Life’s Embrace.
But first, let’s close with a guided meditation to heal interrupted reaching out and seeing and being seen within your own family soul.
Take a moment to make yourself comfortable.
Take a breath as you drop into the present moment
Let the past and future thoughts go like leaves in the wind.
Find your centre by connecting your central channel allowing energy to flow in a figure of 8 or an infinity sign from head to toe and side to side.
Breathe here for a moment and name the healing intention you’d like to work with today.
On the next breath drop into your heart.
Take a few breaths here to charge your field with the beautiful frequencies of unconditional love, joy, freedom and harmony.
Staying connected here, create a picture of your mother either from a favourite family portrait or a fond memory of her.
From your heart, gaze at her heart’s energy with the heart chakra that transferred life force energy to you upon conception. Without thought, analysis or judgement.
See the boundary between your mother’s life force energy and your own. Often our mothers love us so much that keep us in their life force field long into our adulthood.
With a gentle bow of the head, to acknowledge she is the big one and you are the little one, allow yourself to reclaim the boundary of your life force energy while holding in your heart that in doing so you still fully belong to the family system.
As you feel the flow of pure life force energy, let go of any drama, story or old conditioned pattern residue. Like the dog shaking off the water let your system activate so that any patterns that no longer serve your greatest good are easily and effortlessly released bringing a lightness, illumination and liberation to become present for you now.
Allow your gaze to fall just above your mother’s head and see the light of her higher self shine brightly flickering with gold, violet and crystal energies. This is your mother’s higher self, the true nature of her soul that is free from physical and emotional burdens.
See the wholeness and truth of your mother’s soul, heart and true nature of being.
With the next breath, drop into your heart, give your central channel energies a swirl as you notice your life’s boundary holding you in support, love and safety.
Connect your higher self to your mother’s higher self. Remember this is free from the embodied characteristics that may have kept you from fully connecting before. Simply connect soul self to soul self, heart to heart.
This is the true connection between you and your mother. Take a few breaths here and bring your awareness to any positive sensations you may be experiencing.
Thank your mother for gifting your life through her soul. Meet her gaze and hear her speak the words “It’s nice to see you” as you fully allow yourself to be seen by her higher, illuminated and loving self. Receive the connection in your heart.
Allow your soul self to be embraced by the pure essence of your mother’s higher self. Allowing the connection to receiving abundance in all forms to flow to meet your intentions.
What do you most want to create in life? What are you reaching for in the future? What are you most wanting to embrace in life? Now that you are open to receiving and have been seen for the true essence of who you are you are now fully open to creating the life you want.
Take a deep breath to inhale this beautiful state into every cell of your body and exhale any ancestral entanglements, inappropriate bigness or interruptions in receiving.
Breath in the empowering beliefs. You can speak them out loud if you wish:
I am loved and supported in all that I do.
I am open to receiving full health.
Through receiving I will thrive.
I deserve to receive support.
I am open to receiving love.
I deserve abundance in all forms.
I am fully supported in making my dreams come true.
Breath out any limiting beliefs that are available for release
Breathe in the empowering beliefs. You can speak them out loud if you wish:
It is safe to be seen by others
Sharing my gifts with others is important to the world
I can fully appreciate my expertise and knowledge.
I deserve healthy and supportive attention.
Through being seen I can achieve my life’s goals.
Exhale all that no longer serves as you come back to this present moment, and begin to move slowly as you bring your awareness back fully as you open your eyes and notice the sensations of feeling more empowered, clear and liberated.
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