Practicing Non-Judgement

Today’s blog is the third in the Everyday Spirituality series where I’ve been covering ways to integrate spiritual practice into your life in small but meaningful ways to support activating more life force energy to overcome fatigue, low mood and illness so that you feel energized, joyful and motivated.

In the previous 2 articles, I outlined a variety of meditative practices for all schedules, lifestyles and interests.  Today I want to talk about one of the most important factors involved in bringing spirituality into your daily life.  It is a practice that is foundational to being a spiritual being and one that will allow you to feel more peace, joy and love in every moment. 

This is the practice of non-judgement, for self and others.  In this episode I will explain why judgement is so harmful to you on all levels of being, the underlying reasons why we judge, how to become more aware of when you’re doing it and most importantly, skills and practices to shift out of the judgement mindset into one that nourishes kindness, compassion and self-love.

Key Topics Include:

• Understand why judgement is so harmful to you on all levels of being.
• Some underlying reasons why we judge.
• How to become more aware of when you’re judging.
• Skills and practices to shift out of the judgement mindset into one that nourishes kindness, compassion and self-love.
• The importance of practicing non-judgement in authentic relating.

Judgement is everywhere in everyday life, and so engrained into our existence, that once you begin to notice it may surprise you.  But the act of noticing a behaviour is the first step towards making a positive change.  First, take a moment to tune into how you think.  Do you classify things as good, bad or right,wrong or acceptable, unacceptable.  The list goes on of how we judge, but you get the idea.   As humans we all do this at some level, and I’m now inviting you to break free of this habit to access more peace, harmony, balance, grounding and the embodiment of your truth.

Judgement is a limiting way of thinking as it detaches us from the truth in the moment.  When we place judgement on ourselves and others, states of being, emotions, situations and places we are no longer connecting directly with the experience but rather an interpretation we have created that may or may not be true for others as well.  This is a slippery slope into conflict and drama, internally and externally.

Judgement clouds clarity, creating veils of static that keep us from being able to access truth, compassion and connection.  Once you enter into a judgement mindset, you are in analysis mode which compares, contrasts and makes determinations based on your personal criteria.  These personal criteria are based on your map or experience of reality, which is unique to you and may differ from someone else in small or significant ways.  You can never know what is true for someone else, unless of course you ask them, and even then that depends on how well the person knows themselves to be able to answer accurately.  

When judgment is present it prevents us from remaining open, vulnerable and available for authentic communication and relationships.  The reason for this is that judgment excludes rather than includes, which affects the ability to connect authentically. 

When a judgement is in play, the person has decided what something is or is not, and is no longer open to receiving other viewpoints.  Judgement closes the mind, which closes the energy body and constricts the flow of life force energy through the system.  It creates conflict, limits compassion and activates the need to control things so that the judgement is true. 

Control is a safety mechanism for fear.  When fear is present, in order to feel safe, someone must place parameters (judgements for example) on a situation so that they can manage, or control, the outcome.  If they can manage an outcome, the likelihood of something unexpected happening lessens which brings a false sense of safety and security. 

Essentially judgement is a fear-based activity that pulls us out of the divine connection to unconditional love of all things, situations and people. 

In reality, it is through expansion and connection to the infinite source of life force energies that is the safest place to be.  Where there is full trust in the divine order of all things, that the divine is in all things, and when we stay connected to the divine through conscious awareness, spiritual practices and mindfulness then we can access a true felt sense of the support of the divine within us that connects us to everything and everyone.  This is the essence of living a spiritual life, and cannot be done when we judge, exclude, think negatively or come from a place of lack.

Judgement involves a comparison of some kind, which creates an artificial sense of lack.  When we are judging ourselves, this is always from a place of lack.  Not being good enough, loveable, or deserving of.  Lack is an illusion since the truth is that you are the divine incarnate, god living in a human form, which is always whole, abundant and loved.  Casting judgment on yourself diminishes your life force energy as it constricts your ability to connect with the divine within you. 

If we judge others then we often assume others are judging us.  This creates a house of mirrors kind of situation, where you judge yourself and others and create the illusion that you are also being judged by others and reciprocate (or retaliate) by judging them too.  Can you sense the constriction in this way of being?  The body, soul and spirit will follow the constrictive thoughts of the mind.  Depleting your availability to life force energies will ultimately affect not only your mental health but also your physical health.

If you are judging yourself, then you are also going to be judging others since you will have a habituated pattern of needing to create a judgement to understand and relate with the world.  If you are caught up in this cycle, it is related to childhood conditioning that supports this way of being.  Maybe you had a parent who was critical or judgmental.  Or those around you as a child had strong opinions that may have even been prejudiced.  Maybe you grew up in a community of the haves and have-nots that became a habituated way of looking at the world.  These are all ways we can be influenced by how we were raised that become locked into our belief and identity structures and run deeply in our subconscious mind.  These beliefs and identity structures hold a vibrational signature that creates a frequency of energy that surrounds us and manifests our personal reality.  If you have judgement of others you will unconsciously create situations where you can judge and be judged creating an endless feedback loop of a judgment-based reality.

So how do we break free of the fear-based constraints of judgement that constrict of body, mind and soul?  The first is to become aware of when and how you are applying judgment to situations, people and places.  A great practice is to OBSERVE WITHOUT THOUGHT.  Judgement is an action of the thinking mind.  When we can observe using all our senses, and mindfully and consciously stay with the sensory-based input we can connect to the thoughts, feelings and sensations directly releasing the need for judgement.

So when someone asks you how you are doing, rather than applying a judgement of good or bad, simply connect with the feeling or sensation you are aware of without thinking about it.  I’m feeling happy today.  I’m feeling unwell.  I have a sense of harmony.  I am angry. Releasing the need to add extra thinking to a sensation allows us to embody our truth and relate in a meaningful and authentic way. 

This takes practice, but the first step is to begin to notice how many thoughts you use to create a judgement.  I’ll use a simple example here to explain. When you go outside and get your first sense of the temperature and weather conditions, for example, what happens?  What is the first thing you notice?  The sun is shining, a chilly breeze is blowing but the air temperature is mild.  Then what is your next thought?  It’s going to be a great day!  A judgement. Or I need sunglasses and a jacket.  Non-judgement.  It’s too bright outside!  A judgement.  Or I feel the sun on my face.  Non-judgement.  Or if it’s raining, what do you first notice?  The rain is pouring down.  Non-judgement.  What an awful day.  Judgement.  I should get my raincoat.  Non-judgement.  The weather is bad, I need my umbrella.  Judgement.  The differences are subtle but can you get a sense of the difference between them?  How the non-judgmental statements of fact, or observation without comment are simple, easy and drama-free.  While the judgement statements are more limiting.  Begin to apply this to your daily life and notice the difference. 

The magic of practicing non-judgement is that you reclaim so much energy that was wasted in creating thinking and judgement around your sensations.  This is creative energy that you will be able to repurpose to other areas of life that will serve you better.  Take a moment to think about where you’d like to put your reclaimed creative energies.  Into your relationship, work, learning a new skill, adding an artistic expression like singing, painting or dancing?  Let this motivate you to stay with the practice of non-judgement.

Another great way to release the need to judge is to accept the fact that everything is in divine order.  That you are always in the right place at the right time doing the right thing.  There is no way to get anything wrong because everything is always on the right path.  The good, the bad and the ugly.  All of it is showing up for your greatest good.  Every. Single. Thing. In fact, you are receiving what you show up in your reality in direct relation to what you’ve been asking for.  In order to make changes sometimes obstacles must be removed from your path. To do so, you first need to see them and put in the work to overcome them.  And gain a deeper level of strength and connection within yourself to allow you to fully receive the new way of being you’ve been asking for. 

So, if you must judge then apply the judgment that it is all good.  And taking the time to find the good in all difficult situations.  Or to use non-judgmental language, to trust that if all is in divine order then how can this situation benefit you?  What are the resources you gain?  The personal growth you are being invited into?  Some call this making lemonade out of lemons but it is a simple practice that will turn your world around.  And allow you to live your life rather than it living you. 

When you can truly embody this idea then there is no reason to judge anything, because it is all good, right acceptable and so on.  There is no such thing as wrong, bad or unacceptable.  This is the path of being a spiritual being.  The trust, belief and ability to connect with the divine energies that are greater than ourselves in deep knowing that you are fully supported.  That what you want is already there within you waiting to be uncovered.  You are born in wholeness that exists your entire life.  What you seek is already within.  All you have to do is look, trust and believe.

You can also listen to this article in the companion Healing Codes Podcast episode with the link below.

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