Self-Sabotage can leave us feeling defeated, disempowered and frustrated. But here’s the thing, what if there really is no such thing as self-sabotage? From the Consciousness Medicine frame, this is 100% true!
In this post, you’ll be invited to:
- Explore how self-sabotage is actually an old pattern locked away in your subconscious designed to keep you safe and well.
- Activate a more self-empowered state to remain more resourceful when you feel like you’re getting in your own way.
- Learn practical ways to help navigate your personal growth path to overcome self-sabotage by identifying the underlying self-care intentions.
- Experience a guided meditation to overcome self-sabotage and create new ways of accessing peace, harmony and well-being.
Do you sometimes feel like you’re getting in your own way and hindering your personal growth process? I hear this a lot from my clients. “I’m sabotaging myself, every time I really feel like I’ve turned a corner, the old patterns come creeping back in and I feel stuck again,” Resulting in them feeling defeated, disempowered and frustrated.
I think we’ve all felt like this at some point in our lives. For every one step forward we seem to take two steps back and there’s no one to blame but ourselves. But here’s the thing, what if there was no such thing as self-sabotage? Because in the CxM frame this is 100% true.
Here’s why:
Firstly, Everything is happening for a good reason. This starts with the idea that you are always in the right place, doing the right thing at the right time no exceptions. That you can never get it wrong, as everything is in divine order.
I live my life in this place and highly recommend it. It’s a place where judgments like good/bad & right/wrong cease to exist. Where trusting in the unknown becomes possible knowing that you are always divinely supported. Where you can keep perspective and self-empowerment when things get difficult.
Every challenge is an opportunity for you to learn, grow and, even more importantly, is showing up in direct response to your healing intention. If you can reframe this for yourself while in the perceived state of self-sabotage you will be able to access a place of self-empowerment and take back the lead in creating what you want.
Self-sabotage is an illusion held in place by subconscious patterns based on old conditioning, ancestral entanglements, limiting beliefs and past trauma. This is based on the idea that 95% of what we do, think and Be is orchestrated by our subconscious mind and only 5 % by the conscious mind.
So for example, if you are feeling stuck focusing on finding your soulmate relationship, it is because when you create this as conscious intention you will also activate any associated limiting beliefs living in your subconscious mind such as I’m not good enough or loveable, or that connection is dangerous.
Your system will then choose to keep you safe and protected by not bringing you that relationship. So what you may perceive as self-sabotage is actually an old pattern locked away in your subconscious designed to keep you safe and well.
In other words there can never be a 100% unwanted state. If it is showing up in your reality, there is some part of you that values it
For example,when there is an ancestral entanglements involved (which I use family Constellations to release), we will always choose ancestral suffering for the intended positive outcome of trying to make our lives better by healing others, staying loyal and innocent and most importantly ensuring our survival by belonging.
The key then becomes to identify the value and rewire how your system goes about achieving its goal.
The best way to do this is to ask yourself, what good thing comes to me when I have this difficult or unwanted experience? Or what will I lose that I value if I change it? The first inclination might be to answer nothing!! But if you sit with it and go a bit deeper, you will uncover its intention. What is your soul self really trying to tell you?
For example: Illness is a way of getting you to rest. Smoking is like always having a best friend there and also creates a sense of grounding. Anxiety is a way of trying to keep you safe. Not having money is a way to ensure you won’t lose it or have it taken. Feeling not good enough is a strong motivator for seeking personal change. Isolation (Being Alone) is a guaranteed way no one will hurt you. Worst-case scenario thinking is trying to keep yourself safe by planning for the worst. You get the idea.
This uncovers an important inner conflict energy that runs deep in the subconscious mind. When we can bring it into our conscious mind with compassion, gratitude and curiosity it unwires the hold it has on you. And gives you the opportunity to preserve the benefit while respectfully letting go of the struggle.
In the last episode, the presence of healing, we explored the idea of how we can discreate the old patterns that don’t serve our greatest good and create that which do. The key to making this change a success is to preserve the value underneath the unwanted state while updating how your system goes about it, so that can create lasting change.
For example, committing to your self care to be sure you get enough rest will allow your system to not have to get sick to accomplish this. Managing your money and investments wisely will allow you to feel safe enough to welcome in prosperity. Replacing grounding meditations, and exercises with smoking will help ease the cravings. Creating and spending time in places and with people you feel safe can help lessen the anxiety.
In a few minutes, I’ll take you through a meditation to explore this for yourself. But first I want to give you a few more resources and tools to use to transform states of perceived self-sabotage into what they really are which is requests by your system for self-care.
Since your vibrational frequency is creating the reality around you, and your experiences in it, you can get a pretty good idea of what limiting beliefs you are running by observing what’s happening in your life. What you feel on a daily basis. And how this might remind you of how you felt in childhood.
For example, if you have an active limiting belief that you are not good enough then your reality will become full of situations that make you feel that way. Or if you have an ancestral entanglement to fear, your reality will bring you opportunities to feel this fear so that you can stay loyal and belong to your family system. Even if your conscious mind is working hard to create what you want, it is no match for these old habituated ways of being.
When you feel stuck or like you’re repeating an old pattern, how can you benefit from this challenge? What is the lesson your future self will benefit from? What is this the answer to that you’ve been asking for? Reframing it as an opportunity for growth is a powerful tool to stay positive in difficult places. Remember that this challenge is showing up in direct response to the change you’ve been asking for.
This allows you to reach a more empowered and embodied place to then ask yourself what you want to be experiencing instead. Keep working on getting clarity. Usually easiest to start with lifestyle characteristics, how you want to feel, what you’ll be experiencing, who are you with, what are you thinking, and what’s your posture. This helps repattern your habituated neurology and build a new neural net pathway that will change your frequency of vibration to more easily manifest the reality you want to be experiencing.
When facing a situation that feels like you’ve taken a step backwards, ask yourself is this an opportunity for closure? Many times old patterning shows up so that we can say no and close the door on them. This is necessary to shift the energies from the old to the new. Allowing the vibrational change needed to allow a more harmonious reality to manifest.
GUIDED MEDITATION FOR OVERCOMING SELF SABOTAGE
This meditation is available as a podcast episode if you prefer to listen to it to go more deeply into the self-healing state.
Take a moment, to set the space for your journey. Find a relaxing place, light a candle and have your journal nearby to capture thoughts, realisations and inspirations.
Drop into your heart and think of the issue you would like to take a look at, to identify how it benefits you so that you can preserve the benefit and release the struggle.
Picture yourself on the top of a great hill, or on a stage in an auditorium. Anywhere where a group can gather and see and hear you clearly.
Take a moment to call in all the parts of being that make you you. From the parts that beat your heart to the parts that hold your limiting beliefs.
Welcome them in, giving an encouraging wave for them to find their place.
Take a moment to observe this group that hold the essence of who you are.
Introduce yourself as the higher self, the CEO, the one who will take input from all parts and reserves the right to make the decisions for the self that are for your greatest good.
Notice all members of the crowd nodding in agreement that they are also here for your greatest good. Hear the cheers of support that all these parts are on the same team. Team You.
Now ask the parts that are responsible for the issue you want to work with today to make themselves known.
Notice their shape, size, color, texture, pure essence.
Welcome them to join in a conversation with you.
If you’d like you can move to where they are, invite them closer to you or simply leave them where they are whatever feels best.
As you get a good look at this part, that has caused you to struggle, take a moment and drop into your heart as you observe..
Give them a moment to get a good look at you as your grown-up self. Since the last time they saw you make the agreement for their service, you were much younger and far less resourceful.
First, thank them for coming and for their loyal service. Embrace them as team You.
From your heart, ask them what good they hope to bring you, and to that younger version of you. Are they trying to keep you safe, well or connected?
When you receive your answer, take a moment to appreciate their good intentions as you tell this part in a sentence or two about the experience of struggle it is bringing to you in the present day.
Together agree that you would like to preserve that intention. But you’d like to elevate their existence by coming up with a new way to bring this to you. Ask if they would be open to this opportunity.
Since they have your best interest at the core of their heart, see their agreement and relief that their job will be upgraded to bring even more benefit to you.
Now call in your 3 of your creative parts and let them join in the conversation. Ask these creative parts how the other parts can still bring you the benefit but in a different way. Let each speak in turn so that you have 3 options.
Thank the creative parts and allow them to float back to their place in the group.
As the parts you’ve been conversing with if they agree to these any or all of these 3 options.
Notice their relief as they feel the frequency of harmony these new options bring them as they agree to implement these new ways of being, acting, thinking and feeling. Notice their happiness of being given a promotion to a kinder and gentler way of being.
Give them a hug as you thank them and return all parts to their appropriate places.
Take a moment to look at all these beautiful parts that make you who you are and give a warm wave of gratitude as you allow them to disperse and get back to their necessary duties.
Feel into your heart. Hold these new options agreed upon there as you set your intention for what you want to create in your life. Send out that request and see the co-creative forces of the universe come together to put this into action. Trust that you are supported and feel gratitude for the important information and lessons you learned today.
Allow yourself to come back to this moment in time, take a breath and open your eyes. Feel free to make any notes or self-reflection in your journal.